Oh, what a week!!!  Lost my keys, then found them.  Lost the spare key to the car but found it by the end of this day.  Restarted physical therapy  with the hope it will reduce my falling and increase my strength and mobility (only to have my forever present back pain multiply itself beyond the top digit on the pain scale).  Yet, there have been highlights as well.

The younger golden retriever, Mike, has a mysterious way of turning bad events to laughter.  At the beginning of last week, he discovered the toilet brush, and carried it to the family room. Shortly after, he removed the toothpaste from the drawer in the bathroom, again bringing it into the family room.  Did he want to brush his teeth??  Oh, what an odd way of expressing himself....   A few days later, Mike pulled the box which contained fish cutlets out of the trash can . . . only to have his head so deep inside the box that his head was buried and he proudly wore it as a hat, bringing on a huge belly laugh.

All this made me wonder just how many times I have worn a "box on my head"  or brought together opposite items to accomplish a goal.  When I was very little, I was able to cut my bangs while there were four adults to supervise me.  Another time, the wind up alarm clock no longer functioned and another was purchased. The broken one I pulled from the trash can, poured some milk from my glass into it, and  to everyone's amazement the stupid clock began to ring its' alarm loudly (before it stopped forever).  There was another time that I pulled a rusted watering can from the trash, and upon carrying it back into the house, fell on the jagged edges, slicing my neck (but I did get to ride to Frankford Hospital in the back of a paddy wagon of Philadelphia's finest).

All events make me remember that despite the many attempts in life, failure will try to desperately follow. Now, we could all sit by and let failure dominate us or we could try again and again (even if it is a toilet brush and toothpaste) to succeed.  The brave men and women who dreamed of flying to the moon and beyond did not permit failure to smother their goals and dreams.  They kept trying.  Their dreams were realized.

Even God allows us to try and try again, encouraging each of us to shed disappointment, fear, and discouragement to be our very best.  God doesn't want any of us to be perfect.  He just wants each of us to be the best of who we are as individuals, and to try and try again as we attempt to reach that goal . . . and if we fall short, who cares?  God just wants us to try.

A Car Can't "Go" in Neutral

We turn on the radio for news, information, and companionship when we get into our cars. Yet, I did not expect a stimulating thought. It was presented early in the morning by www.sonrisemorningshow.com (who comes on between 6am to 7am Mondays through Fridays).  They were interviewing an author who had a chapter in his book that was something like "A car can't go in neutral. Neither can God. Get your foot on the gas and go." or something similar to it.

Well, it made me wonder just how often I have kept God in neutral without considering the outcome of my actions.  I also considered the times that I put God into hyper drive after not seeking God's input to my choices and decisions, making my responses to my Creator manic depressive.  Now, with retro speck, I find many opportunities where I could have and should have put my foot on the gas and let God take over.  

It is my hope that the remaining years I have here on earth are spent in giving God "pedal to the metal" in my life.  It is when someone can see my actions or behaviors as helpful or as a blessing to them that I realize God has been taken out of neutral.

Where do I start?  As in the picture above, the first action is to get myself into church for a heart to heart conversation.  Then, in those times when I am able to have quiet time, I listen to his voice.  "Be still, and know that I am God.  I'm right here at your side."  Thank you, Lord, for getting me into gear and letting You take control!

Another Death

Another friend from Hospice buried her daughter last week . . . and she was non responsive from a major seizure never regaining consciousness.  How dreadful to bury a 30 year old !  The answers are not there as to the whys (why her?  why now?  why at this age?) including the whys that are without description . . .
I am without words . .. .  Yet, I know that my Redeemer lives.

The Good Samaritan

So many times all of us have heard about the Good Samaritan story and know that there is a law also named the Good Samaritan Law (protecting any individual who stops at an accident on the roadway from any litigation. Now, I will provide a new slant on the story, something which I have just heard which has endeared the Good Samaritan ever more to me.


As the bible story tells us, a man was beaten and robbed, and left on the side of the road to die.  Passing by were two individuals who did not stop to help the man.  Then, a Samaritan came by, and seeing the man in the ditch beaten robbed (probably near death), he stopped to help the man. He wrapped up the man's wounds after using oil and wine.  Then, he carried the man to a nearby inn.  The Samaritan gave money to the inn keeper with instructions to care for the man, and if it cost more to tend to the beaten man, the Samaritan would provide reimbursement to the inn keeper.  Of course the Bible story clearly has a question posed by Jesus, 'who provided compassion for the man' . . .   and now a twist in the end of the story . . .


Each of us have been robbed and beaten by Satan throughout our lives.  We are near death, without hope.  Coming our way is the Good Samaritan.  It is Jesus. He is moved with compassion to clean our wounds (by the Sacrament of Anointing the Sick).  He places oil (the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the Sacrament of Baptism, the Sacrament of Confirmation) and wine (the Sacrament of Holy Eucharist) into our wounds.  Jesus then wraps each of  them (forgiveness) and  He restores us from death (from Jesus carrying and dying on the cross).  He has redeemed each of  us with His love for us that we many not be separated from God in the end of our lives.  


Yet, the story is not finished because Jesus adds one thing more.  He instructs his follows to go out, and do the same for others (through the Sacrament of Baptism,  the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the Sacrament of Holy Eucharist, the  Sacrament of Confirmation, the Sacrament of Holy Orders, the Sacrament of Matrimony, and  the Sacrament of the Sick).  God loves us that much that He became the Good Samaritan to us, moved with compassion for us as we lay beaten, robbed, and near death.  Through the Holy Spirit, we are able to move forward . . . to be a Samaritan to another. 

Looking back over the years through pictures is a wonderful way to remember who you are as a result of the relationships you keep.  The photo upper left is of myself with my brothers and sisters (I'm the shortest on the right).  The other pictures are of the Hospice Inpatient Care Center and my co workers.    The odd part is while I have extensive family I am closest to my husband and then to my hospice family, those who I worked with side by side as we walked with others on the pathways at the end of life.  Each of my brothers and sisters have followed their hearts, married wonderful spouses, and are extremely busy with their children and grand children's lives and events.  Their families are blossoming.  Their stories are wrapped up with love despite the busy events that consume their daily lives with family celebrations.  The physical distance (California, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey from Florida) is minimized by the photographs their children share on Facebook.


What makes a family strong?  The bonds that are in the heart, the trust in the care that is administered.  These I treasure deeply.  When I look to the faces of my hospice family, I see the endless hours of patiently holding the dying person's hand or cradling them in our arms as they traveled their journey.  Those moments are the moments that bring me closest to the Blessed Mother's love and how she cradled Jesus as an infant, as a child who needed love and consolation, and at the foot of Jesus' cross, as she stood unable to hold his hand until this lifeless body was placed into her arms when he was taken from the cross.  Hospice has strengthened my Catholic faith.   When I doubted where I should be in my nursing career, my dying patient instructed me, "This is the work you're to do and you are never to question it again."


The aftermath of the car accident has robbed me of my nursing, as I walk with a cane and have continuous back pain in addition to my unsteady gait.  How I miss my hospice family and the Care Center!!!  How I miss nursing itself!!  Recently, a three-day EEG test revealed seizure activity and I was started on oral medication.  My physical abilities have not changed, but perhaps with guided physical therapies through my neurologist I hope to maintain my physical strength (without further decline).  I often wonder if all these changes since the car accident have become the journey to go home to God the Father.  If it is, I pray for the direction, love, and support that I will need along the way.  I continue to offer my discomforts to Jesus at the foot of the cross and recognize this as my first step to go home.  Whatever else is to come, I hope I will receive as part of my journey.


My precious Redeemer, Jesus, thank you for your cross, a place of refuge for me.  Blessed Holy Spirit, guide me on this journey and remain close to me, even if I cannot feel your presence.  Dearest God the Father, some day I will stand before you and hope you will be pleased with me despite my weaknesses. 

Hot Potato Salad?

Yesterday morning, the ham was baking almost 3 hours with barbecue sauce on it.  Since I had an excess of potatoes, I cooked them in their skins, and when finished, retrieved them from the hot water, placing them into a large bowl.  With the rest of the meal ready, the potatoes were quickly cut up into irregular shapes (skins on). The small amount of mayonnaise in the jar was combined with the remaining liquid and spices from Bread n  Butter pickles.  Shaking it well to make the sauce for my potato salad, I poured it over the chopped green pepper and chopped celery. It looked like "soup".  Slowly the potato salad was gently tossed.... then placed on the table.
Never in a million years would I have made hot/warm potato salad....but YUM!!!!!!!!!

Makes me think about my present situation, as never in a million years would I think I would  be walking forever with a cane, have cataracts in both eyes, and be only able to work as a registration clerk part time.  The bonus of such changes?  Well, I work with a caring group of women who each work hard and are dedicated to doing a complete job of taking care of the customer as well as respecting each other.  The cane as made me appreciate what I still can do, and both Golden Retrievers have identified when I need their assistance and come running quickly without being called to help.  The reduction in income to one quarter of what I was making two years ago has made me look at everything else differently, with utilizing what I have already and much creative cooking
(as above).

Thank you, Lord, for all my blessings of today, of things taken for granted, of blessings in the past.  Allow my eyes and my heart to receive all future gifts of friendship and love as in the spirit it is given.  Thank you for slowing me down, so I can focus more on my destiny with you.  Thank you for our nation, my husband, our home, our dogs, the ability to have a roof over our heads and food on the table. Amen.